More Smart One-Liners On Alcohol

More Smart One-Liners On Alcohol
An ass doesn't turn into a man when it drinks.
A solvent like alcohol can dissolve marriages and families.
A warm heart needs a cold beer.
I stopped reading after I read about the bad effects of alcohol.
The paths I take always leads to the liquor store.
Dog hoped a drunk guy would share his bitch.
When I was young I believed women were intoxicating.
Alcoholics can look down on you from the gutter.
Unlike women, wine gets better with age.
A drunk person whispers laud.
My family didn't know I drank until they saw me sober.
Pity, she didn't like a drunk, and the sober didn't like her.
A bartender is creative with a limited inventory.
Drinking and driving spill the drink.
Pretty when sober, prettier when drunk.
Nescafé makes you think and vodka makes you act.
I know my limits when I fall down.

Smart One-Liners On Animals.

Smart One-Liners On Animals.
If humans or apes evolved from monkeys, why are monkeys still there?

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.

Only dead fish go with the flow.

Smart One-liners On Technology

Smart One-liners On Technology

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

A computer can beat you at chess, but not at kickboxing.

Smart One-liners On Vegetarianism

Smart One-liners On Vegetarianism

I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

I love being vegetarian, not because I love animals, but because I hate plants.

Vegetarian is a Native American definition for “lousy hunter.”

Smart One-liners On God

Smart One-liners On God
God loves dumb people. He keeps making them.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be funny.
I prayed for a bike. It did not work, so I stole a bike and asked God to forgive me.

Smart One-liners On Alcohol

Smart One-liners On Alcohol

Alcoholism is the only disease that tries to convince you that you don’t have it.

Alcoholics ANONYMOUS stand up and say, ‘My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic.’

Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure helps buy a drink to make misery easier to live with.

I always take life with a grain of salt, a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floored.

Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?

The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can sing.